I am so very thankful for my mother. Although I have not seen my mother for almost 7 years, I will never forget the things she taught or the sacrafices she made for me, my brother and two sisters.
It was Mother’s Day 2008 when I last saw my mother before she lost her battle with cancer. For Mother’s day, I had given her a book on Bermuda and a round trip ticket! She was never able to travel outside of the U.S. and rarely outside of California. I so badly wanted her to visit Bermuda and spend time with her 2 grandchildren. These past 7 years have flown by. My mother worked pretty damn hard to raise her kids on what I would consider a shoe string budget. My parents divorced when I was 5 years old. I was blessed to have two caring parents that remained friends and allowed my sister and I to split our time between them both.
My father taught me how to mow the lawn, work on a car and that you never burn a bridge and my mother taught me to cook and sew. I remember being 8 years old and wrapping a stuffed pork chops with string at the same time prepping green beans for cooking. My mother taught me to make a meal with what you had in the kitchen. We were always cooking or baking something. At age 12, my Mother was living in Northern California (Placerville or Old Hang Town) with my brother and sister (twins, 10 years younger than me) and I would dress in Army fatigues and would sneak under the fence of the neighboring farm and pick fresh fruit..and my mother would teach me to make an Apple Cobbler or Blueberry Pie. I had raised enough money collecting aluminum cans at the local lake to purchase the ingredients to make fresh vanilla ice cream.
Both my parents were a huge influence on who I am today.
My mother lived simply and never really expected to much out of life other then the basics. She was an amazingly open woman whom you never had to guess where she was coming from. If you did something to upset her, you would be the first to know. (Even though I don’t think I every did anything to upset her as I was a complete angel.) She wouldn’t spend any time telling the rest the world, she’d bring it to you and resolve it with you.
The older I got, the more we spoke. Before moving to Bermuda, I lived in Southern California and was a Demolition Contractor. I spent 4, 5 sometimes 6 hours in my car a day going from project to project. That gave me a lot of time to chat with my mom on my cell. I would call almost every week day, in the morning…as I knew she was up making her coffee.
Because my mother passed from cancer, I began donating my time at our local Bermuda Cancer & Health Centre and decided to do something in her memory. I worked for years to bring Relay For Life to Bermuda. The first year Relay For Life of Bermuda in 2014 raised over $450,000 and this year I expect we should raise over $500,000. The event falls on the same week of the anniversary of my mother’s passing…so year after year, we will be celebrating her life.
Because my youngest never met my mother and because my oldest was only a year old when they first met, I continue to teach them…what she taught me in the hopes that they will tell their children that Daddy is a good cook, because your Great Ahwa Pam taught your Grandpa Ron….
When I think of my Mom I think of:
- Her amazing artwork, oh…I forgot to mention she was an artist
- Her amazing meals always, always made from scratch
- The fact that she got her coffee ready at night…so she could just flick a switch in the morning
- The hours and hours we spent on the phone (because I was in Southern California and she was in Northern California)
- The fact that she had a nasty second marriage and had the courage to leave Southern California to start a new life
- That she did her best to raise my Brother and Sister, the best she could with what she had
- That she could sit at the lake fishing, for hours and hours
- Her hands because I have the same, don’t ask…they aren’t pretty 🙂
- The not so healthy treats she would purchase for me at the dollar bakery (when she most likely only had a dollar to her name)
- How she would tell me how proud she was of me and how without marrying Becky, I would have been a mess
- When she would ask me to do that funny thing I did 4 days before, for her friends, when I had no idea that I had done
- That she would make my halloween costumes by hand, every year
- That she would make me make my own meal, with her in the kitchen, so I knew how to prepare the food properly
- How if I lost a button, or tore a hole in my clothes….I would have to repair it my self
My mother was no BS and could drink beer with the big boys. I do think of her often and at times you will see me in the kitchen cooking listening to 70s music, because there are dozens of 70s songs that remind me of being a boy…driving around Southern California or heading to the Beach (which is what we did every week….) in our VW. Although there is a emptiness from not having her here, she has always been and will always be a big part of what has made me who I am today. I am so thankful for a mother who taught me how to be selfless, put others first, speak the truth, care about how I make people feel, always encourage and build others up but remember accountability is part of life.
Today I wish my Mother another Happy Mother’s day…and let her know that at the end of this month, there will be a few thousand people getting together in Bermuda for Relay For Life, because…they too are missing someone that lost their battle with Cancer, are currently battling the disease…or are with people that were lucky enough to beat the disease. These few thousand people would not have Relay in Bermuda, if it were not for you!
I miss you and will pass on what you taught me to my boys!
I love you Mom!
